JOSH BILLINGS QUOTES

JOSH BILLING'S COMMON SENSE A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadfully uneasy to take. As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money. It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings