W. C. FIELDS QUOTES

W. C. Fields W. C. Fields ******* A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ******* A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. ******* Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ******* Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. ******* Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again. ******* Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. ******* Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting? ******* I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ******* I never drink water. The fish fuck in it. ******* I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. ******* I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.) ******* I drink therefore I am. ******* I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. ******* Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it. ******* Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money , than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. ******* The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. ******** W. C. Fields